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Transgender Identity & Issues

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• Issues
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Identity

What Does It Mean to be Transgender?

This is a general overview of transgender identity. There are no hard rules on our identity, and each experience is unique and entirely its own, so please consider this when you continue.

Transgender identity is rooted in how we view our gender identity and gender roles.

To give a basic definition, transgender people are individuals who have have a gender identity that is different from the sex that was assigned to them at birth. Many, but not all, transgender people experience what is called gender dysphoria, which is distress caused by the mismatch in one's gender identity and their assigned-at-birth sex, whether they consciously are transgender or not. On the flip side, there is also what is known as gender euphoria, which is a feeling of great happiness due to gender identity validation through pronouns, chosen names, outward presentation, and so on. To help combat dysphoria (or provide greater euphoria), some people elect to pursue hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and/or gender confirmation surgery (GCS, also known as "top" and/or "bottom" surgery).

Transgender identity has nothing to do with one's sexuality. A transgender man is not an "assigned-female-at-birth" (AFAB) person who is attracted to women, and a transgender woman is not an "assigned-male-at-birth" (AMAB) person who is attracted to men. This confusion is a misconception that being transgender is another word for gay, but this is not correct. Transgender identity deals solely in gender identity. A transgender man is a man, and a transgender woman is a woman; they can be straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, and so on. There is no limitation in that regard.

The prefix trans- is used to modify the word gender. The term transgender is not a gender identity in and of itself, but rather, it is a descriptor for an individual whose gender identity is different from their assigned-at-birth sex. Just as it is derogatory to refer to someone as "a homosexual," it is also derogatory to refer to someone as "a transgender." This others transgender people, dehumanizes us, and invalidates our gender identity.

Being transgender and non-binary are not the same thing, but they are not mutually exclusive, either. Just as gender identity is not tied to any specific pronouns, the same applies to transgender people. We can use any pronouns that we believe best fit our identity. This same idea is why the concept of he/him or they/them lesbians are 100% valid. There are no hard rules on identity, as both it and sexuality are a spectrum of concepts and ideas; there is no pre-defined list of "real" identities, and pronouns ≠ gender!

It must be reiterated that this is meant to be a general overview of transgender identity. There are no hard rules on our identity, and as such, it is impossible to cover every aspect of being transgender. Our sections on transgender issues and transgender stories have more information and specific experiences. Otherwise, there are plenty of other sources where you can learn more about what it means to be transgender!

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Issues

What Struggles Do Transgender People Face?

Transgender people, much like every member of the LGBTQIA+ community, have our fair share of roadblocks that inhibit our ability to live our lives to the fullest. This page provides a short list and explanations of a few of the issues facing transgender people.

Let's go through each of these one by one.

Access to Affordable Healthcare
Transgender-related procedures and therapy are prohibitively expensive, and many cannot afford them. Furthermore, many insurance providers outright refuse to cover any of the costs that these procedures incur.

Familial Disownment
Unfortunately, some transgender people are not accepted by our own families, and are, in extreme cases, disowned and kicked out of the house.

Lack of Representation
In both social and political settings, transgender people are misunderstood, ridiculed, and actively unrepresented in local and federal government as well as popular media. There is very little in the way of education on transgender people, too.

Lack of Protection from Discrimination
In many countries, transgender people are not protected from discrimination in social environments, businesses, employment, and government positions.

Trans-Exclusionary Feminism
Trans-exclusionary radical feminists (TERFs) are individuals who specifically target and discriminate against transgender people, claiming that they are not and will never be their gender identity.

Targeted Violent Crime
Many transgender people are assaulted and even killed frequently, especially in communities where there is a greater amount of economic inequality and higher levels of discrimination against transgender and LGBTQIA+ individuals. Additionally, the "trans panic defense," a claim in which someone who has killed a transgender individual pleads innocence due to the very fact that the victim is transgender, has not been outlawed in many places throughout the world.

Transgender people face a great deal of adversity regarding acceptance and protection. What can be done?

Education is key. Informing people and helping them understand transgender people is the first step in recognizing our right to live our lives without fear of being attacked for who we are.

Education begets action, and action comes in many forms: protest, voting, legislation, et cetera.

When the people are educated, they will protest the mistreatment of their fellow human beings.

When the people are educated, they will vote for politicians who will fight for equality.

When the people are educated, and when the political landscape has changed, legislative action occurs, and transgender people, as a result, will finally receive the legal protection and recognition that we need in order to live our lives to the fullest.

If you'd like to read about more issues that affect transgender people, in addition to information on how you can help change things for the better, please check out some of the other sources we have provided!

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Stories

Real Stories from Transgender People

M., She/Her, USA—I've been lucky enough that I haven't experienced much hostility since coming out as trans (especially considering how uppity TERFs get about trans lesbians). Outside of the minor Twitter scrap, I really haven't had much to worry about.

That only covers strangers, though. In my own family, it's been a bit of a different story. My mother, while often well-intentioned, struggled for a long time (and still does) to call me by my proper name and pronouns. I know that, for the most part, she does not intend to misgender me or deadname me, but it can be frustrating. My father and siblings get it right without any hesitation or second guesses. Hell, even my grandparents get it right, so you'd think she could, too.

My mother's husband, on the other hand, is a piece of work. I mean, he's incredibly bigoted in general (racist, sexist, classist, you name it), so I didn't exactly want to tell him, but my mother suggested that she do it for me. Honestly, I kind of wish she never did, because that guy is just a pain in the ass about it. He always deadnames and misgenders me. It's infuriating. The passive-aggressive tone he adopted scared me, too. I never felt safe around him.

That is why I moved out of the house so early...Scary? Sure, but I'm with my girlfriend now, and things are way better!

S., He/Him, USA—Honestly, I knew before I came out that it was not going to be easy. I had tried gauging my parents emotions on transgender topics in subtle ways many times over the years. However, I never got a response that made me feel as if I'd ever be able to tell them that I'm their son. Everything I did was done in secret: I researched hormones and surgeries in incognito tabs, washed my binders when no one was looking, and even started putting money aside in a savings account at age 18 for top surgery under the guise that "it was good practice." From the ages of about 15-20 I kept my transness hidden from my parents for fear of what would happen. However, it was shortly before my 21st birthday that my internalized frustration and restlessness got to the point that I couldn't wait any longer, consequences be damned.

8 pages. That's how long the coming out letter to my parents was. Their reactions were about what I expected. Anger. Judgement. Disgust. Confusion. "I don't even know who you are anymore." Mom didn't look at me for 3 days straight. Dad did everything he could to pretend it never happened. While I felt liberated to finally have such a deep secret thrust into the light, I felt hurt. I didn't hardly know what to do with myself other than simply wait.

A little over a year passed since I came out to my parents before I told them that I had scheduled a date for top surgery. It would be happening in 9 weeks. Telling my dad this is when I finally found out that his attitude towards my transness had improved immensely. He told me that the way my body looked didn't define me as a person and, honestly, he just wanted me to be there in his life. He didn't want to think of the alternative. He was proud of me. Mom dealt with the news much harder than Dad had, but I have to admit that it was far better than she had been a year prior. I guess people can change.

Today is July 6, 2020. This past weekend both my parents agreed to let me use the family insurance to help cover costs for Hormone Replacement Therapy, so I am currently working on getting an appointment so I can begin testosterone shots. Mom actually helped me do some of the research, too. My top surgery is scheduled 5 weeks and 2 days from today. The past few years of my life have been absolutely crazy and I've gone through a lot of sh*t to get here. It wasn't easy, but I'm glad I'm getting there.

I couldn't be more excited to finally start feeling at home in my body.

S., She/Her, USA—I roughly knew from my pre-teen/early teenage years that I was trans. I might not have had a word for it, but I just somehow knew that I was. Years of just passively hearing about hostility towards the trans community during my formative years only helped me to hide away and reject myself. I even joined in on said transphobia, because I absolutely could not let others know that I was myself transgender.

Once free of my peers from high school, out in the real world, being able to interact with people who are LGBTQIA+ really helped to solidify that no, they are just regular people just like you and I, there is no logical reason to treat them differently just because they may differ from you. Having my worldview’s at the time being utterly shattered and shown wrong helped me immensely, as I wouldn’t have grown at all.

Upon finally understanding the fact that yes, I am trans, it took time to reconcile that fact, and to grow from there. I was fearful of family rejection at the time, though not exactly my friends (the hateful ones I stopped contact with, and only had supportive friends). My mother was homophobic, as she had shown towards my younger brother, while my father and step mother were just christian’s, so I didn’t know if they would be accepting or not.

I had spoke to a couple friends, coming out to them, and receiving nothing but overwhelming support. I experimented in online social media with different names and interests, just to see what would work with me. After becoming more confident and euphoric with myself, I came out to my mother first, since I figured that she would be more easily swayed than my father. I was wrong. She was very hateful and did nothing but antagonize me regarding transitioning. Our relationship is still to this day fractured.

Speaking with my father (who by extension, was with my step mother when I was talking over the phone), I was utterly surprised as he didn’t immediately go into attack mode with the news. He took the time to reflect on the news, to do some research and come to the conclusion that he may not understand it, or may never understand it, but he would still love me and would try to be a father for me, regardless if I was cis, trans, straight, gay, etc.

In day to day life, it still is challenging. Not every trans person can easily pass (if they care about passing as a cis person), and early in my transition, I couldn’t either. It can be a struggle at times to be gendered correctly and have my full name be inferred properly from my short name. Living out in the rural parts of a conservative state is very scary, as in high school, it wasn’t uncommon to hear the phrase “we should just kill the [T-slur redacted]”. Living in a more progressive, city area would likely be less scary, as with the more open minds, I may not have as high of a chance to be attacked, compared to the rural areas.

There are definitely diamonds in the rough for this area though, my doctor and electrologist for example, have been nothing but very kind, supportive and respectful. Even some people in my family have been nothing but the best for me. I’ve been lucky to live relatively hidden people who simply don’t want me to exist.

M., He/Him, DEU—It took me a while to figure out that I‘m trans. I was lucky that my friends were pretty supportive when I initially told them I was questioning my gender and experimenting with different pronouns. My then best friend told me that she didn‘t see me that way, it stung, but she eventually came around and embraced me, even though our friendship drifted apart ever so slightly.

Coming out to my family was a different story entirely: I came out to my mom and my two younger brothers right before I moved back in for uni and neither of them took it well. My youngest brother was upset and angry, the other ridiculed me and my mother TOLD me she would support me, but half an hour later she was adamant about not changing anything to accommodate me and told me that she „knew that I‘m a girl and always will be“.
She went on and pretended that none of that ever happened and ignored my feelings entirely.

From that point on I was out at work, at uni, to new and old friends, even our next-door neighbour, a grumpy old senior who was way past 70, only ever used my chosen name, but my own family couldn‘t do that for me.

And then, almost a year later, my mom decided to take a family vacation in the south Italian countryside. Before that, she fought a lot with my youngest brother who couldn‘t take it anymore and moved in with my dad. So it was her, my other brother, the dog and me in a tiny house in the middle of nowhere. The first few days were horrible, I got more and more miserable as time went on. The misgendering, the backhanded remarks, her trying to put me down at every turn, my mental health deteriorated exponentially.

Until one night she discovered that my youngest brother was gay, her poor response to that news just ticked me off. There was no way in hell I would let her treat my baby brother like that. What followed was a very toxic fight, she called me sick, I called her out on her bs, she kicked me out with "pack your bags and leave my life". And that‘s what I did. Overnight I walked to the next city while a friend, whose parents sheltered me after that ordeal, got me a bus ticket back to my country.

Years later my mother tried to make amends, but I can‘t bring myself to entertain any kind of relationship to her and honestly, I'm okay with not having her in my life.

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